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like basically from what i understand about Mesopotamian history Babylonia makes everyone in the Levant (Phoenicia, Judah, etc.) unfriend Egypt on Facebook to be her fb friends instead but everyone in the Levant has Egypt allowed on chat so they’re like always texting each other and Egypt keeps sending friend requests and offers them gifts on farmville and stuff so Babylonia freaks out and destroys the laptops of everyone in the Levant and forces them to use desktop computers at a computer lab near Babylonia’s house on Babylonia’s network and they aren’t allowed to sit near anyone who speaks their own languages so they can’t conspire and do anything about it they are only allowed to play farmville with Babylonia even though Babylonia generally likes playing cityville better than farmville and everyone’s farmvilles get neglected. 

she keeps trying to block Egypt’s IP but then Egypt turns up in person every so often to talk to people in the Levant and since Egypt is super buff and has lots of money and a sweet wig and cute eyeliner and Babylonia can’t do anything about it so she sits in her house and peers through her blinds at Egypt jealously

enter Persia who comes out of nowhere, slaps Babylonia around a bit (“this is how you expect to make friends? get a hold of yourself girl”) and fixes everyone’s laptops as best he can and and becomes everyone’s facebook friend. Then he pops over to Egypt for a stern talk and some slight ransacking, and then suddenly the whole Near East is playing farmville together and life is good mostly

they just have to keep in mind that time that Assyria was so good at farmville that he crashed the whole network



*doing more research on Merrows*

*stumbles upon something while distracted by radio*

*finally looks at screen*



I never knew Ireland was one of the possible theories of being Atlantis 

Eh I wouldn’t trust that source too much unless they can trace their claim back to an actual source. I’ve tried tracing Erlingsson’s claim and it seems that he has assumed that Plato created the concept of Atlantis based on Ireland and perhaps other places.

I’m confused though. I think the Ancient Greeks were aware of Ireland before Plato’s time but Ireland went by several names… like Land of the Hierni or mistakenly translated to “Sacred Isle”, Hiverne as well… so why would Plato create a story about Atlantis and base it on the physical appearance of Ireland? That would suggest that Atlantis was purely fictional and was just created by Plato to serve to the story he wanted to demonstrate?

Or am I completely messing this up? Hapo, how is your knowledge on Plato’s Atlantis? 

I don’t know anything about how much Plato knew about Ireland, but I am pretty sure Atlantis was a story he was making up to illustrate a point. It wasn’t a very well known story since Plato was the only one to mention it and because when Athenians listed all their military triumphs (including mythological ones) Atlantis never came up. The Athenians liked bragging but since they didn’t brag about Atlantis it’s pretty likely that Plato made it up specifically for his own writing. I’m not an expert on Plato though, haha. 

besides the geography Plato talks about is pretty ridiculous. It’s like a land of concentric circle-islands or something weird. And I don’t think Ireland meets the requirement of “being larger than Asia Minor and Ancient Libya combined” XD;

Atlantis was more of a Victorian invention than anything- I’m pretty sure that’s when the whole obsession with finding Atlantis started becoming popular. XD; “Hey! Ireland is an island in the Atlantic!’ 

summing up:


Shit they looked way better on my phone

Artemis for allbeendonebefore aka Hapo’s Mythology challenge!

These are speedpaintings I made on my phone, it was hard 0_0

I see Artemis in two ways and can’t decide between the two: one is the young girl, the protector of young girls, the moon goddess and the mysterious wanderer, the other the more feral huntress, living in the wild, tough won’t-take-yo-shit Spartan-like-ass-kicking lady. Anyway, in both versions she’s a fierce redhead with eyes the colour of the moon :)


I have a sort of split conception of Artemis as well that I have trouble with too; i never know whether to draw her as a willowy shy forest nymph girl or a tough fierce muscle-y amazon XD but since she’s a goddess she can change her form at will and they don’t have to be mutually exclusive,
I guess. ;w;

eeeee I love your conception of her so much she’s so beautiful and serious and also you have serious drawing-on-phone skills -highfive- 

thank you so much! ;w;

Assyria: hahahahaha i am the best fear me Egypt I will destroy you I'm king of the world i have so much olive oil gyahahahaha
Babylon: gtfo it's my turn to be empire again
Assyria: ow my man parts
Babylon: i don't give a damn about economic development of far off lands I just want to take care of myself so down on your knees peasants
Egypt: hey is that jerk Assyria still around can I have the Levant back
Babylon: no and no
Egypt: okay well I'm just going to take it then -punch-
Babylon: Hey!! Ow! Hey!
Egypt: yoink
Egypt: ouch I'm just going to lie here for a while wow that hurts
Babylon: yes the Levant is all mine send me tribute
Babylon: .... I'm waiting
Babylon: it's been 11 years and the Levant still hates me wtf
Egypt: hi there Pharaoh and I are just having a vacation here in Byblos in the Levant hope you don't mind wow it's so nice here we feel so safe because everyone in the Levant likes us and you have no friends
Babylon: >:CCCCCC


they’re suppose to be kids i guess

in huge ass jerseys

Hi, i don't know if this is too early for you, but is there any record of free black people in Roman times, specifically pre-empire? My father was saying that it was "very unlikely" for it to have been, but i think otherwise.



This is just another example of the overwhelmingly pervasive idea in our culture that no matter where or when you go in history, anyone who wasn’t Black and who SAW a Black person immediately thought, “Hey! Thisperson and everyone on earth who looks anything like them would make great slaves!” So…before we play remedial education, can we all take a moment to think about how horrible that is? That the idea of Black people=slaves is SO dominant that we project it into ancient history???

Okay, first of all, slavery in the Ancient Mediterranean was not the same as American chattel slavery. It was not race-based slavery. Your race had nothing to do with whether or not you were enslaved.

Basically, what you’re asking about (roughly) is the Hellenistic Era.



After Alexander the Great’s ventures in the Persian Empire, Hellenistic kingdoms were established throughout south-west Asia (Seleucid Empire, Kingdom of Pergamon) and north-east Africa (Ptolemaic Kingdom).

This resulted in the export of Greek culture and language to these new realms, and moreover Greek colonists themselves.

Equally, however, these new kingdoms were influenced by the indigenous cultures, adopting local practices where beneficial, necessary, or convenient. Hellenistic culture thus represents a fusion of the Ancient Greek world with that of the Near East, Middle East, and Southwest Asia, and a departure from earlier Greek attitudes towards “barbarian” cultures.

The Hellenistic period was characterized by a new wave of Greek colonization (as distinguished from that occurring in the 8th–6th centuries BC) which established Greek cities and kingdoms in Asia and Africa. Those new cities were composed of Greek colonists who came from different parts of the Greek world, and not, as before, from a specific “mother city”.

As explained above, what you would have had is a “melting pot” of many different languages, “races”, cultures, schools of art, ethnicities, et cetera.

The art of this period reflects that.


Greek architects and sculptors were highly valued throughout the Hellenistic world. Shown on the left is a terra-cotta statuette of a draped young woman, made as a tomb offering near Thebes, probably around 300 BCE. The incursion of Alexander into the western part of India resulted in some Greek cultural influences there, especially during the Hellenistic era. During the first century BCE., Indian sculptors in Gandhara, which today is part of Pakistan, began to create statues of the Buddha. The Buddhist Gandharan style combined Indian and Hellenistic artistic traditions, which is evident in the stone sculpture of the Buddha on the right. Note the wavy hair topped by a bun tied with a ribbon, also a feature of earlier statues of Greek deities. This Buddha is also wearing a Greek-style toga.

-Essential World History by Duiker, Spielvogel, p. 101

As for trade routed in the Ancient World, well. The Silk Road has existed for pretty much as long as the continents have been in their current configuration and populated by humanity. I’m not exaggerating-the prehistoric version of what became known as the Silk Road is known as The Steppe Road. The Silk Road ITSELF was established for trading purposes at least 2,000 years ago. Here’s a mockup of the Silk Road as it existed during the era you’re asking about:


Here are some Hellenistic Era Greek artworks that feature Black people. There is NO correlation in this era between a person being Black and a person being enslaved.




In general, Greek attitudes towards anyone with Black or dark brown skin were sort of ethnocentric, but not negative OR associated with slavery. After all, the idea of “white people” wouldn’t exist for another 1,500 years at LEAST.

Before Color Prejudice: The Ancient View of Blacks by Frank M. Snowden contains many, MANY invaluable interpretations and translations of primary sources that help to really explore attitudes and philosophies that the people in the time had about appearance, human difference, and personality traits. From page 86:



If you want something a bit more definitive, The Image of the Black in Western Art Vol. 1:From the Pharaohs to the Roman Empire explores the Greek and Roman preoccupation with physical type+personality traits as a form of PROTO-racism, but please note that nothing in their writing or art indicated the association of Blackness or Black skin with slaves or enslavement/enslavability:



"Race" as we have this concept today did not exist then. the "races" they are talking about have to do with ethnicity and culture, NOT skin color by necessity. In addition, the "proto-racist" writing is describing geographical origin and climate to correlate with personality type, with the “perfect balance” being conveniently, Greeks.

As for the beginnings of the Roman Empire, the above is wehre you’re pretty much starting from, and then you have EVEN MORE intermixing between peoples. Including the Emperor born in the Roman Province of “Africa”, Septimius Severus, who led a campaign of additional conquering there around 200 C.E.

He then of course sent tens of thousands of Roman soldiers up directly into Britain and Scotland, and there are extensive records of Black military legions at Hadrian’s Wall in the 3rd century. Incidentally, leading to a rather multicultural population in Roman York (England), which is also extensively documented (Ivory Bangle Lady, one of the richest women in that area at that time, was definitely of African descent).


This would have been the Roman Empire about 100-200 years before the time of Ivory Bangle Lady. Excavations in the area combined with the cutting edge of academia and science combined have this to say:

"We’re looking at a population mix which is much closer to contemporary Britain than previous historians had suspected," Hella Eckhardt, senior lecturer at the department of archaeology at Reading University, said. "In the case of York, the Roman population may have had more diverse origins than the city has now.”

Isotope evidence suggests that up to 20% were probably long distance migrants. Some were African or had African ancestors, including the woman dubbed “the ivory bangle lady”, whose bone analysis shows she was brought up in a warmer climate, and whose skull shape suggests mixed ancestry including black features.

"We can’t tell if she was independently wealthy, or the wife or daughter of a wealthy man — but the bones show that she was young, between 18 and 23, and healthy with no obvious sign of disease or cause of death."

The authors comment: "The case of the ‘ivory bangle lady’ contradicts assumptions that may derive from more recent historical experience, namely that immigrants are low status and male, and that African individuals are likely to have been slaves. Instead, it is clear that both women and children moved across the Empire, often associated with the military."

Feel free to go tell your dad he’s full of it.

Hey everyone! ;w; I just had a great idea and I wanted to know if you guys would like it. 

How about I give you a figure from mythology and you draw or write a description of how you think they look? Alternatively, you could just pick your favourite version(s) of them and explain why you like them. You can be as elaborate or as simple in your drawing/writing as you like. c: How about it?

The figure I’m starting with is Artemis from Greek mythology since I just finished an essay on her. Go for it! and maybe tag your work as ‘haposmythchallenge’ so I can see it! :D There’s no strict deadline, but if you work better with a deadline how about one month from now on May 16th? c: It’s just for fun and not a competition so all skill levels are welcome!!



lots of fun images in my readings of dancing cross dressing spartans with ugly masks and fake phalli 

like why did the festival where they whipped boys become more famous than that one

oh right romans

i really like this book i’m reading for my essay urgh i wish i had more time for this but yeah

there’s a laconian vessel depicting men and women at a symposium together and scholars look at it through athenian lenses like “uhh hmm women they must be high class prostitutes” but this book is like “yo hey maybe Spartans just like bringing their wives to fancy drinking parties??”

imagine sparta and laconia reclining on a couch together and chatting with people and drinking and being cute omg